I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
