i need an iv and a liver transplant
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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