Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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