It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
