You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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