sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
