guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
