So drunk its hurt
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize