I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
