garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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