her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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