You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
