i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
