Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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