first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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