she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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