is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
