the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
