wat bout pragnant strippers??
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
