Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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