I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
