I'm going to jail i love you
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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