and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
