Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.

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  (847): he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants. (1-847): you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him. http://tfl.nu/yg4d
  Replies (25) Good night (450) Bad night (2765)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night

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  (847): He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night http://tfl.nu/syca
  Replies (11) Good night (691) Bad night (3756) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work

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  (304): I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work http://tfl.nu/ovrn
  Replies (31) Good night (4615) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.

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  (518): Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower. http://tfl.nu/xf7t
  Replies (17) Good night (4736) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono

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  (313): And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono http://tfl.nu/k8o2
  Replies (17) Good night (3806) Bad night (1803) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?

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  (760): Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college? http://tfl.nu/r2e9
  Replies (36) Good night (3446) Bad night (3692) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok

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  (415): Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok http://tfl.nu/rrpn
  Replies (37) Good night (7113) Bad night (815)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.

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  (913): Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry. http://tfl.nu/57v9
  Replies (3) Good night (2453) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.

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  (217): 3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa. http://tfl.nu/7ujo
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?

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  (319): Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be? http://tfl.nu/gqtw
  Replies (12) Good night (645) Bad night (1075)
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  (619): View more from California

  I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw

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  (619): I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw http://tfl.nu/yk6h
  Replies (11) Good night (816) Bad night (1766) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist

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  (614): Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist http://tfl.nu/opm5
  Replies (5) Good night (1088) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.

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  (602): When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises. http://tfl.nu/mg1c
  Replies (6) Good night (945) Bad night (249) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."

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  (478): I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you." http://tfl.nu/9ihc
  Replies (1) Good night (185) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.

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  (406): I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever. http://tfl.nu/7tpa
  Replies (1) Good night (356) Bad night (160) Order T-Shirt

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