you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Dating After Heartbreak
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter