i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.