Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
