Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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