I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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