I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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