so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
