He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
