I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
