Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
