Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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