The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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