cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
zippers are such a cool invention
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
