her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
