M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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