Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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