Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think I sprained my soul last night
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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