she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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