i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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