I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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