So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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