Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I am available for nakedness
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
