i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
