Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
