You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
im holly from the hills drunk
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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