I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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