There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
