Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
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Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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