Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
