I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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