just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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