addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
