I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
