whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
