apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
