When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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